FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What you want to know.
If something isn't answered here, email me or book a free consultation.
ABOUT COACHING
What is divorce coaching? How is it different from therapy? Can I work with you if I'm also in therapy?
Divorce coaching is practical, present-focused support for navigating one of the most consequential transitions of your life.
Where therapy explores the emotional roots of your experience, coaching works on decisions, clarity, and what happens next — how to think clearly under sustained stress, how to build a team of the right professionals, how to move forward without losing yourself in the process.
The two work extremely well together. Most of my clients are also in therapy, and they find the work is complementary, not redundant.
How is it different from working with an attorney — and do I need one first?
Your attorney handles the legal process.
I help you show up to that process with clarity — understanding what you're being told, making decisions that reflect what you actually want, and not spending attorney rates on processing that belongs somewhere else.
You don't need a lawyer to start working with me. In fact, many clients come to coaching before they've retained anyone, because getting grounded first makes every other professional relationship more effective.
How is coaching different from a support group?
A support group is a warm hug — community, shared experience, the relief of being understood.
Coaching goes somewhere different. It's one-on-one, strategic, and vision-oriented. We work on your specific situation across every facet of your divorce — legal, financial, emotional, relational — with the goal of helping you think clearly, make grounded decisions, and build a life you actually want.
Both have value. I also offer a support group for women in transition. You're welcome to do both.
IS THIS FOR ME?
Do I need to know I'm leaving my marriage or be ready to act?
No. Some of the most important work happens before the decision is made.
If you're in the middle of something hard and trying to figure out what's true, what you want, and what your options are — that's exactly where coaching begins. You don't need to have it figured out to start.
My situation isn't "bad enough" — does this still apply?
Yes. The personal transformation that runs through every divorce — the grief, the identity shift, the recalibration of nearly everything — doesn't only belong to high-conflict situations.
If you're navigating something significant and doing it largely alone, that's enough. You don't have to be in crisis to deserve support.
Do you work with high-conflict or coercive control situations?
Yes — this is a significant part of my practice. If your situation involves a high-conflict partner, financial opacity, fear, or a pattern of control, I understand what that actually looks like — and how to help you consider all of the factors.
Do you work with people who are separated but not yet divorced?
Yes. Separation is often the hardest stretch — legally unresolved, emotionally raw, and full of decisions that will shape what comes next. It's one of the most important times to have clear thinking and good support in your corner.
Do you work with men?
Sometimes. My practice is built for women navigating difficult, unequal, or controlling marriages. If you're a man in a situation that fits that dynamic — power imbalance, coercive control, a one-sided situation — reach out. The dynamic is what qualifies you, not your gender.
PRIVACY & LOGISTICS
Is everything I share confidential?
Our work is private and confidential, but it's not legally privileged — which means it could potentially be subpoenaed.
That's exactly why I keep minimal records. Beyond basic intake information, I don't take detailed notes on our sessions. What happens between us stays between us, and I've structured my practice deliberately to keep it that way.
If you have specific privacy concerns given your situation, bring them to our first conversation.
What if my spouse doesn't know I'm working with you?
That's quite common and is entirely your choice to make. Many women need a private space to think before they're ready to have any conversation at home.
We can also talk through any practical concerns — calendar privacy, billing discretion — so you feel safe from the start.
What happens in a session?
A lot, actually. We talk through what's most present — a decision you're wrestling with, a dynamic you're trying to understand, a conversation you need to prepare for.
We screen share documents, review emails, draft responses together. We role-play difficult conversations. You might even share your dating profile! You cry and laugh — divorcing women are remarkably funny.
Sessions are 50 minutes, held over video or phone. Some like to walk and talk. Many call from the privacy of their cars. This is a turbulent time, and I'm happy to flex how we meet as you need it.
Do you work virtually / outside Portland?
All sessions are virtual — video or phone — which means I work with women throughout Oregon, the United States, and, occassionally, internationally. If you're not in Portland, nothing changes other than the time zone.